Failure

I forgot to call my teacher today by noon, which was my hw assignment. I have tons of excuses why I didn't call on time, all of them good, none of them good enough to make me feel better. I'm really worried the teacher won't call back, and my grade will be screwed if that's the case. This whole week I've only been gettin 4-5 hours of sleep a night, so I feel like crap and I've been up since 6 this morning (I started work an hour early, so for my admin job I'm working 9 hr shift) and then I have to go to the globe and put in a 4-5 hour shift there. I know I chose to do all this, just like I chose to cut my schedule so that i no longer work mon and wed. Except now i feel like this total loser who's not working enough. which is absolutely ridiculous, but there ya go. I walk around it's edgesso manicured and smoothLily ponds on the surfacenothing to mar the cool.It's depths gaze at meand lend to my reflectiona well of hidden meaning.I reach into that mirrorSearching for an elusive I never hope to findand hit bottom immediately.No mysterious depths hereJust a shallow chillthat my body is in kind.

just another day at work

I've got work all day today, from 8:00 in the morning to about 10:30 at night. I don't really mind, I guess. I'm making money and I'll be using it to go to New York. It's hard to believe that I'll be traveling around for a month all the way across the country, it seems like to big of a dream. I should get started planning it with John, but i'm kinda afraid he won't end up going. What is it about love that makes otherwise logical individuals do crazy freaking things? Shouldn't love make you smarter and stronger? Shouldn't it be this great thing where your life is better for it? but for most people I see, that's not the way it is. It's as if people stop seeing the difference between a relationship that has problems and a relationship that is a problem. Ah well, I feel better for having vented.

feliciatobias

I went surfing today, and now I'm stalling on the cleaning and homework aspects of life. I have to get everything done today since I'm working or have plans for the rest of the week. I love that my life is busy and full now, but sometimes it scares the crap out of me. It's almost like it's someone elses life and I'm sort of filling in while they're gone. Except, I can't fill in for to long becuase I'm not cut out for this sort of thing. The fast pace and all this freedom. I'm afraid that I'll screw it up and then they'll come back and hate me. Well, cherry oh then.